Good Grief

Grief is a funny thing. I don’t think there’s truth in the saying that it ‘goes away with time.’ Instead, I think it never goes away, but we learn how to navigate our emotions like a skillful sailor – adjusting our sails and navigating the rough seas along with the calm.

Four years ago I received a phone call that would change life as I knew it. Four years ago, I found myself in a hospital waiting room receiving news that there was nothing that could be done…my mom was unexpectedly gone.

I remember sitting down to write her obituary the next day and thinking how odd it felt to sum up 54 years of life in just a paragraph or two. It was a daunting task and I struggled to find the right words to do her life justice. The days, weeks, and months that followed still feel like a blur. There was a period of time when I was a shell of my former self…sad, depressed, angry, accepting…vacillating between the different cycles of grief. I couldn’t believe that this was it. I was motherless. It sounds crazy to say it and even stranger to write it…but, I felt orphaned.

I had always had this firm belief that failures, setbacks, hardships, and heartaches were the catalysts to great personal transformation. Through the hardest, darkest times I held onto that belief with great hope that there was a plan bigger than I could see. I am still learning how to navigate the waters and adjust my sails. I have learned to not put a time frame on healing and have come to understand that this could very well be a journey that lasts my lifetime.

I pulled this quote from a tribute that Kathie Lee Gifford made to her own mother who recently passed. Not only do reminders like these make tough anniversaries a little easier to get through, but it’s a mindset that I want to adopt and always have.

“If you spend your life obsessing over what you’ve lost in life, you will have a bad day. But if you do all those things in a sense of gratitude for what you had for as long as you had it, it makes all the difference in the world.” – Kathie Lee Gifford

4 thoughts on “Good Grief

  1. What a wonderful mother you have. You are parts of her and all of her. She is always with you, just on the side of an invisible screen. She sees you. And what a great job she did with you and becoming who you are today and will be tomorrow. May you know God’s comfort and the hope and truth that fills the void in one’s heart.

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  2. Your Mom blessed this Earth so much during her time here and continues to through you, your family and through the great memories so many share with her! I can’t thank you enough for sharing what you do-the realizations you’ve shared this year alone have been so super impactful, a source of peace and motivation in my own life-it’s a gift you are giving by sharing. I’m remembering fond backstage days today❤️💃🏼 and sending extra love! Whenever you need help adjusting your sails, Girl, please know I’m here for you..anytime!

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  3. Leah what a beautiful tribute to your Mom.
    She was a very special person and friend.
    I miss her – I miss seeing her pulling weeds in her beautiful yard – I miss her smile!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. What beautiful words about your beautiful mom. I can’t believe it’s been four years. You are such a inspiring example of how someone can grow from the most tragic of circumstances. Though I’m sure you still have moments of weakness, it never shows. Your strength is incredible. You’re a living tribute to your mom and I feel blessed and very fortunate to call you family.

    Oh, and I really think you should write a book! I love to read your blog!

    Liked by 1 person

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